Also, too often, negotiation is seen as someone else’s job. Some people avoid uncomfortable conversations.
Many product conversations are a negotiation, even when we don’t call it that. Often, it happens every day, it might be a hallway conversation, a stakeholder call, or a discussion during the Sprint Review. And when it’s done poorly, the hidden cost is more than emotional frustration (though that counts, too). This cost might also be expressed in customer outcomes and business value.
When negotiation fails, costs might increase, for example:
- Missed customer value opportunities,
- Missed business opportunities,
- Wasted effort,
- Delayed delivery,
- Lost trust,
- Product debt,
- And decisions that cause any other product suffering.
For product managers, product owners, stakeholders, and leaders, these costs are rarely taken into account.
Poor negotiation is a cost. And mostly it is a result of a lack of preparation and misaligned expectations. In product development, this usually shows up as polite “yeses” that slowly erode clarity and purpose.
Take a look at the following example: the “quick yes” that became expensive
A stakeholder asks for a “small change” right before the Sprint Review. You sense it’s not small, but you don’t want to slow things down. You say yes.
A week later:
- The team has to reshuffle work, worries that the Sprint Goal will not be met,
- Testing and review effort grows,
- A higher-value item gets pushed out,
- The stakeholder is still unhappy—because “small change” meant different things to each of you.
The costs are: lost higher-value opportunities, team effort and frustration, and stakeholders feeling disappointed. All because of agreeing without making the trade-offs and expectations explicit
Awareness is the starting point
Before we talk about techniques or strategies, it’s worth pausing to notice how poor negotiations actually show up in our daily work. Many negotiation problems begin with a lack of awareness about the consequences of small decisions.
Poor negotiation might take different forms, for example:
- Reactive decisions, especially under pressure,
- Avoiding difficult conversations and hoping the problem resolves itself,
- Little or no preparation for the conversation (lack of alternatives, data, or shared understanding),
- Saying yes too quickly, without considering trade-offs or impact,
- Escalating instead of engaging.
Take a moment to reflect on your own experience:
- When has this happened to you?
- How did you respond in that situation?
- What would you do differently now?
Be prepared with BATNA
People who feel unprepared or powerless in negotiation experience higher stress, anxiety, and lower confidence.
Prepare with BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
Before an important conversation, ask yourself:
- What if I disagree?
- What options do I have?
- What do I want to achieve here?
- What data or facts will help us decide?
Good preparation helps reduce emotional reactivity and builds confidence. If you know your alternative, you can respond with confidence and keep the conversation open.
Also, be prepared with facts and product data from different angles, and don’t forget customer and business value.
Chris Voss, in Never Split the Difference, writes:
“No deal is better than a bad deal.”
But bad deals happen daily, not because people are malicious, but because they lack tools, preparation, self-awareness, and support.
Separate Position from Interest
A lot of product conflict comes from people arguing about positions.
A stakeholder says, “We must have this feature next Sprint.”
Instead of arguing or agreeing, ask: “What’s driving this need?”
By asking “What’s driving this need?”, you are engaging in perspective-taking, a crucial skill for negotiators to avoid losing sight of their counterpart’s needs.
or
“What problem are we solving if this is done?”
or
“What happens if we don’t do it immediately?”
or
“How does this feature help us meet our current Product Goal?
Often, the underlying interest can be met in more than one way. That’s when negotiation becomes productive: not a fight, but a search for options.
Final thoughts
Certainly, there are other helpful strategies to avoid poor negotiation. I have listed a few of them to give you some initial inspiration. From my experience, awareness of that cost is one of the most important assets. Because those costs are spread out, people often blame execution instead of the conversations that shaped the work.
Try to calculate the costs of poor negotiation in monetary and non-monetary terms. Be transparent with stakeholders about that. Be prepared. Ask questions. Notice the moments where you agree too fast.
If you’re a Product Owner, Product Manager, or leader who makes decisions, then negotiation is part of your job. Scrum emphasizes that Product Owners are “accountable for maximizing product value.” That means not accepting everything, but having the courage to negotiate, align, and say “no” with clarity and respect when needed.
More about BATNA you can find in one of my blog posts:
Using BATNA in Product Management
More about product outcomes, you can find in one of my blog posts:
Outputs or outcomes?
